JUMAT DAN UKHUWAH YANG MENGKRISTAL DI NEGERI SANG PAULUS POLANDIA

Winter Dan Muslimah Di Tengah Putaran Salju Di Warsawa ^_^

SubhanAllah setelah hampir 1 bulan di Polandia , Alhamdulillah baru sekarang bisa berbagi cerita lagi.:) Banyak sekali yang ingin diceritakan jauh dari tanah air serasa berada di planet lain.hehehe ( sindrom shock culture ).Alhamdulilah Desember ini salju datang perlahan tidak seperti tahun lalu Desember 2010 , tahun ini begitu menyenangkan.Kini saya mulai mengerti betapa mahalnya sinar matahari disini.:) belum lagi saya yang kemudian menjadi pusat perhatian saat di bus menuju warsawa ^_^.Jawaban kenapa saya menjadi pusat perhatian
1.Saya memakai kerudung ( i am the second muslimah wear hijab in billian of people in our town , first is sister Kinga .Islamic name Nur married with brother from Maroco :) MashaAllah senang sekali ketemu dengan saudara se-iman)
2.Wajah oriental dan kulit coklat yang mencolok ( hehheh orang-orang disini memanggil saya dengan sebutan Ainna piekna (Ainna yang cantik ).Alhamdulilah terlihat pipi dan wajah memerah sindrom of cold water heheheh.Saya jadi belajar untuk menghargai apa yang Allah telah berikan yakni kulit coklat itu indah kata orang-orang Eropa , saat bersama abang ke shopping center saya lihat banyak sekali gadis-gadis berambut pirang yang sengaja mengcoklatkan kulitnya.hehhehe justru di Indonesia banyak yang memutihkan kulit.Benar-benar kecantikan yang didasarkan pada hawa nafsu manusia , ya begini jadinya.Alhamdulillah dari awal saya tidak termasuk salah satu yang menjadi korban iklan.dan yang kontras juga terlihat gadis-gadis Polandia yang cantik berambut hitam ,kata abang mereka itu warnain rambutnya biar terlihat cantik ^_^.Pelajaran penting buat penggila kecantikan,syukuri apa yang ada seperti dalam lyric lagu D' Massiv .heheheh kulit coklat , rambut hitam siapa takut???.semuanya makhluk Allah yang paling cantik ya yang beriman dan bertaqwa :)
3.Saya terlihat sangat mungil ( hehehhe bahasa halus dari kata pendek ).

Sepanjang jalan di Warsawa ^_^.hehhehe benar-benar berasa jadi artis ( www.lebay.com ).Saya juga jadi mengerti ada rasa kebanggaan sebagai muslimah Indonesia yang membawa satu ciri khas keramahan , di Polandia apalagi winter seperti ini dalam penilaian objektiv saya " senyum adalah hal yang langkah terlihat " tapi memang dasar dari Indonesia kebiasaan saya yang suka senyum ya gak bisa hilang jadi ya senyum mulu disini.SubhanAllah saat saya senyum eh gak nyangka ternyata di  balas ^_^ senyum kan hanya ke wanita aja and kids  ( Abang justru cemburu ,katanya jangan suka senyum " your beutiful smile just for me " hehhehe ^_^ mungkin khawatir kali ya kalau ada yang jatuh cinta ke saya Astagfirullah :) will take big problem ).Dimanapun kita berada hal yang paling penting adalah selalu bersyukur , bersyukur atas segala ni'mat yang Allah beri kan belum tentu saudara kita yang lain mendapatkan hal yang sama.ni'mat yang besar adalah ni'mat sebagai muslim karena hidayah itu mahal ( jika Allah berkehendak maka "Kun Fayakun " ) pemandangan yang sering terlihat di mesjid warsawa adalah meningkatnya jumlah pemuda-pemudi yang kembali ke Islam ditengah gersangnya jiwa-jiwa manusia yang tidak sebanding dengan kemegahan bangunan maupun materi yang kita lihat , cuman yang susah di Polandia ya belum terlalu maraknya kajian-kajian Islam seperti yang  marak di Indonesia.Hal pertama yang saya alami adalah kesulitan komunikasi karena masih banyak yang belum bisa berbahasa inggris dan saya belum bisa bahasa Polandia ,hanya beberapa kata dalam bahasa Polandia yang saya hapal ,karena masih sulit dalam pengucapan.

Januaria 2012 suhu dingin pernah mencapai titik ekstrim, di negara tetangga Polandia seperti Ukraina banyak yang meningggal.Di Polandia sendiri ada juga  korban biasanya mereka adalah para alkoholik, homeless dan pecandu narkoba.Astagfirullahaladzim, semoga Allah mematikan kita dalam keadaan iman dan Islam (amin).Terkadang sesuatu yang indah kita pandang belum tentu baik bagi kita.Allah Yang Maha Mengetahui yang terbaik bagi umat-Nya.Alhamdulillah suami saya yang tercinta senantiasa menjadi teman untuk saling mengingatkan untuk selalu mensyukuri akan ni'matMu ya Allah.

The True Story Of A Saliha Wife

True strory told by Shaykh "Abdul Mohsen al Ahmad", it happened in Abha (the capital of Asir province in Saudi Arabia)
"After performing Salat Al Maghrib, she put her make-up, wore her beautiful white dress preparing herself for her wedding party, Then she heard the Adhan of ‘Ishaa and she realized that she broke her Wudu
she told her mother : “mother, I have to go to make wudu and pray ‘Ishaa”
He...r mother was shocked : “Are you crazy?!! Guests are waiting for you, to see u! what about your make –up? It will be all washed away by water!!” then she added
” I am your mother and I order you not to perform salah now! wallahi if you make wudu now, I will be angry at you”
Her daughter replied :”wallahi I won’t go out from here till I perform my salah! Mother you must know that "There is no obedience to any creature in disobedience to the Creator."!!

 Her mother said:”what would our guests say about you when you'll show up in ur wedding party without make-up?! You won’t be beautiful in their eyes! and They will make fun of you!”
The daughter asked with a smile :” Are you worried because I won’t be beautiful in the eyes of creations? What about my Creator?! I am worried because, if I miss my salah, I won’t be beautiful in His eyes”
She started to make wudu, and all her make-up was washed away, but she didn’t care
Then she began her salah and at the moment she bowed down to make sujud, she didn’t realize that it will be her last one!
Yes! She died while in sujud! What a great ending for a Muslimah who insisted on obeying her Lord! Many people who heard her story were so touched!!
She put Him and His obedience first in her priorities, so He granted her the best ending that any Muslim would have!
She wanted to be closer to Him, so He took her soul in the place where Muslim are the closest to Him! SubhanaAllah!
She didn’t care if she would be beautiful in the eyes of creatures so she was beautiful in the eyes of Her Creator!

O Muslim sister, imagine if you are in her place! What will you do? What will you choose : pleasing creations or your Creator?
O dear sister! Do you guarantee that you will live for the next minutes? Hours? Months?!!
No one knows when their hour will come? Or when will they meet angels of death? So are you ready for that moment?
O non hijabi sister! What do you choose : Pleasing yourself by non wearing Hijab or your Lord?
Are you ready to meet Him without Hijab?
And what about you, sister who are “in relationship” or “open relationship”, are you ready to meet your Lord today? Tomorrow?! What do you choose pleasures of this Dunya or pleasures of akhirah?!

May Allah guide us all to what pleases Him and grant everyone who is reading these lines good ending, Amiin .

May Allah guide and help us for always remember about the real day .Amiin

The Ideal Muslim Woman and Her Husband Part II

She does not disclose his secrets

The chaste Muslim woman does not disclose her husband’s secrets, and does not talk to anyone about whatever secrets and other matters there may be between him and her. The serious Muslim woman is above that; she would never sink to the level of such cheap and shameless talk as goes on amongst the lowest type of people. Her time is too precious to be wasted in such vulgar behavior. She would never accept for herself to be counted as one of those people whom the Prophet (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) described as one of the worst types:
“Among the worst type of people in the sight of Allah (Subhanahu wa ta’ala) on the Day of Judgment is a man who enjoys his wife’s intimate company, and she enjoys his intimate company, then one of them goes and discloses the secret of the other.”49
Talking about that which is private between a husband and wife is one of the most abhorrent ways of disclosing secrets. No-one does such a thing but the worst type of people. There are some secrets the disclosure of which is not as bad as disclosing this secret, but in any case, telling secrets at all is disliked and is unacceptable. Keeping secrets in itself is a worthy and virtuous deed, whilst disclosing them is a serious error and shortcoming, from which nobody can be immune except the infallible Prophet (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam). The disclosure of a secret that the Prophet (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) had entrusted to Hafsah, who told it to ‘A’ishah, led to the plotting and intrigue in his household that caused him to keep away from his wives for a whole month, because he was so upset with them.50 Concerning this, the following ayah was revealed:
( When the Prophet disclosed a matter of confidence to one of his consorts, and she then divulged it [to another], and Allah made it known to him, he confirmed part thereof and repudiated a part. Then when he told her thereof, she said, ‘Who told you this?’ He said, ‘He told me Who knows and is well-acquainted [with all things].) (Qur’an 66:3)
The two women concerned are then confronted with their error, and called to repent, so that they might draw closer to Allah (Subhanahu wa ta’ala) after having distanced themselves by their deed, otherwise Allah would be his (the Prophet’s) Protector, and Jibril and the righteous believers would also support him:
( If you two turn in repentance to Him, your hearts are indeed so inclined; but if you back up each other against him, truly Allah is his Protector, and Gabriel, and [every] righteous one among those who believe - and furthermore, the angels - will back [him] up.) (Qur’an 66:4)
Then they are issued with a stern warning and the terrifying prospect that if they persist in their error, they may lose the honor  of being the wives of the Prophet:
( It may be, if he divorced you [all], that Allah will give him in exchange Consorts better than you - who submit [their wills], who believe, who are devout, who turn to Allah in repentance, who worship [in humility], who travel [for Faith] and fast - previously married or virgins.) (Qur’an 66:5)
This incident presents a valuable lesson to the Muslim woman on the importance of keeping her husband’s secret, and the effect this confidentiality has on the stability of the individual and the home. One of the greatest blessings that Allah (Subhanahu wa ta’ala) has bestowed on the Muslims in particular, and on mankind in general, is that he has made the public and private life of His Messenger (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) like an open book, in which can be read the teachings of this ‘aqidah and its practical application in real life. Nothing is secret or hidden: matters and events that people usually keep secret are discussed openly in the Qur’an and Sunnah, even unavoidable human weaknesses. All of these issues are presented in order to teach people right from wrong.
The Sahabah, may Allah (Subhanahu wa ta’ala) be pleased with them, understood that the Prophet’s life was entirely devoted to Allah (Subhanahu wa ta’ala) and His message, so why should they keep secret or conceal any aspect of his life? The stories that have been narrated about his life, his household and his wives represent a practical application of the words he preached, and for this reason, the Sahabah (may Allah reward them with all good) transmitted the most precise details of his life, and did not fail to record any aspect of his daily life, whether it was major or minor. This is part of the way in which Allah (Subhanahu wa ta’ala) caused the life of his Prophet to be recorded, including details of the precise way in which Islamic teachings were applied in his life. This is in addition to the Qur’anic references to the Prophet’s life, which form a record that will remain until heaven and earth pass away.

She stands by him and offers her advice

One of the laws that Allah (Subhanahu wa ta’ala) has decreed for this life is that men and women should work together to cultivate and populate the earth and run the affairs of life therein. Man cannot do without woman, and vice versa. Hence the laws of Islam teach men and women to co-operate in all matters. Islam encourages a man to help his wife, as much as he is able; the Prophet (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam), who is the example for all Muslims, used to help and serve his family until he went out to pray, as the Mother of the Believers ‘A’ishah said.51
Just as Islam expects a man to help his wife with housework and running household affairs, so the woman is also expected to help him in dealing with the outside world and to play her role in life by offering her opinions and advice, and supporting him in practical terms.
History tells us that Muslim women engaged in jihad side by side with men, marching to war with them, bringing water to the thirsty, tending the wounded, setting broken bones, stemming the flow of blood, encouraging the soldiers, and sometimes joining in the actual fighting, running back and forth between the swords and spears, standing firm when some of the brave men had fled. Their courageous conduct in battle was praised by the Prophet (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam), as we have described previously (see pp. 69-91).
However, women’s contribution to public life did not stop on the battlefield; women also stood side-by-side with men at times of peace, offering their valuable opinions, soothing their hearts at times of stress and supporting them during times of hardship.
History has recorded many names of great Muslim men who used to seek and follow the advice of their wives, foremost among whom is the Prophet himself (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam), who sometimes followed the advice of Khadijah, Umm Salamah, ‘A’ishah and others among his wives. ‘Abdullah ibn al-Zubayr used to follow the advice of his mother Asma’, al-Walid ibn ‘Abd al-Malik used to follow the advice of his wife Umm al-Banin bint ‘Abd al-’Aziz ibn Marwan, and Harun al-Rashid used to follow the advice of his wife Zubaydah, and there are many other such examples in the history of Islam.
The true, sincere Muslim woman understands the heavy burden that Islam has placed on her shoulders, by obliging her to be a good wife to her husband, to surround him with care and meet his every need, to give him enjoyment, and to renew his energy so that he may fulfill his mission in life. So she does not withhold her advice when she sees that he needs it, and she never hesitates to stand by his side, encouraging him, supporting him and offering advice and consolation.
The first Muslim woman, Khadijah bint Khuwaylid is the best example of a woman who influenced her husband. The Prophet (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) came to her on the day of the first Revelation, anxious, trembling and shaking all over. He told her, “Cover me, cover me!” She hastened to offer her help and support, advising him and thinking of a practical way of helping him. Bukhari and Muslim report the story told by ‘A’ishah of how the Revelation commenced, and the marvellous way in which Khadijah responded by supporting her husband:
“The Revelation started in the form of a dream that came true, he never saw a dream but it would clearly come to pass. Then he was made to like seclusion, so he would go and stay alone in the cave of Hira’, praying and worshipping for many nights at a time, before coming back to his family to collect supplies for another period of seclusion. Then the truth came suddenly, when he was in the cave of Hira’. The angel came to him and said ‘Read!’ He said, ‘I am not a reader.’ [The Prophet (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) said:] ‘The angel embraced me and squeezed me until I nearly passed out, then released me, and said, ‘Read!’ I said, ‘I am not a reader.’ The angels embraced me a second time, squeezed me until I nearly passed out, then released me and said, ‘Read!’ I said, ‘I am not a reader.’ The angel embraced me a third time and squeezed me until I nearly passed out, then released me and said:
( Read! In the name of your Rabb (Cherisher and Sustainer)  and Cherisher, who created - created man, out of a [mere] clot of congealed blood: Read! And your Rabb (Cherisher and Sustainer)  is Most Bountiful - He taught [the use of] the Pen - taught man that which he knew not.) (Qur’an 96:1-5)’”
 Allah’s Messenger (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) came back to Khadijah, trembling all over, and said, “Cover me, cover me!”. They covered him up until he calmed down, then he said to Khadijah, “O Khadijah, what is wrong with me?” He told her what had happened, then said, “I fear for myself.” Khadijah said: “No, rather be of good cheer, for by Allah   (subhanahu wa ta’ala) Allah (Subhanahu wa ta’ala) would never forsake you. By Allah   (subhanahu wa ta’ala) you uphold the ties of kinship, speak the truth, spend money on the needy, give money to the penniless, honor  your guests and help those beset by difficulties. She took him to Waraqah ibn Nawfal ibn Asad ibn ‘Abd al-’Uzza, who was her cousin, the son of her father’s brother. He was a man who had become a Christian during the time of jahiliyyah; he could write the Arabic script and he had written as much of the Gospel in Arabic as Allah (Subhanahu wa ta’ala) willed. He was an old man who had become blind. Khadijah said to him, “O Uncle, listen to your nephew.” Waraqah ibn Nawfal said, “O son of my brother, what has happened?”  Allah’s Messenger (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) told him what had happened, and Waraqah said to him, “This is al-Namus (i.e., Jibril), who was sent down to Musa, upon whom be peace. I wish that I were a young man, and could be alive when your people cast you out.”  Allah’s Messenger (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) asked, “Will they really cast me out?” Waraqah said, “Yes. No man has ever come with what you have brought, but his people were hostile towards him. If I live to see that day I will give you all the support I can.”52
This report is strong evidence of Khadijah’s wifely perfection, wisdom, strength of character, steadfastness, understanding and deep insight. She knew the Prophet’s outstanding character, good conduct and purity of heart, and this made her certain that Allah (Subhanahu wa ta’ala) would never forsake a man such as Muhammad(sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) or permit any bad fate to befall him. She knew that behind this remarkable new event that had overwhelmed  Allah’s Messenger (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) lay something great that Allah (Subhanahu wa ta’ala) had prepared for His Messenger, so she spoke her kind and sweet words of encouragement, filling him with confidence, tranquility and firm conviction: “Be of good cheer, O cousin, and stand firm. By the One in Whose hand is the soul of Khadijah, I hope that you will be the Prophet of this nation.”53 Then she took him to her cousin Waraqah ibn Nawfal, who had knowledge of the Torah and Gospel, and told him what had happened to the Prophet.
The first Mother of the Believers, Khadijah (May Allah be pleased with her), was a sincere adviser in the way of Islam to the Prophet (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam). She had already earned the great status and lasting fame of being the first person to believe in Allah (Subhanahu wa ta’ala) and His Messenger, and she stood beside her husband the Prophet (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam), supporting him and helping him to bear the worst oppression and persecution that he faced at the beginning of his mission; she endured along with him every hardship and difficulty that he was confronted with.
Ibn Hisham says in his Sirah: “Khadijah had faith, and believed in what he brought from Allah  (subhanahu wa ta’ala).  In this way, Allah (Subhanahu wa ta’ala) helped His Prophet (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam). Whenever he heard any hateful words of rejection or disbelief that upset him, Allah (Subhanahu wa ta’ala) would cause his spirits to be lifted when he came back to her. She encouraged him to be patient, believed in him, and made it easier for him to bear whatever the people said or did. May Allah have mercy on her.”54
She was a woman who always spoke the truth, and carried this burden sincerely. It is no surprise that she earned the pleasure of Allah (Subhanahu wa ta’ala) and deserved to be honor ed by Him, so He conveyed the greeting of salam to her through His Messengers Jibril and Muhammad(sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam), and gave her glad tidings of a house in Paradise, as is stated in the hadith narrated by Abu Hurayrah:
“Jibril came to the Prophet (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) and said: ‘O Messenger of Allah, Khadijah is coming to you with vessels containing food and drink. When she comes to you, convey to her the greeting of salam from her Rabb (Cherisher and Sustainer)  and from me, and give her the glad tidings of a house of pearls in Paradise, in which there is no noise or hard work.”55
The true Muslim woman puts her mind to good work, thinks hard and gives advice to her husband at times when he may be most in need of advice. By doing so, she does a great favor for her husband, and this is one of the ways in which she may treat him well.
Another of these great stories which feature correct advice given by a woman is the reaction of the Muslims to the treaty of al-Hudaybiyah, and Umm Salamah’s reaction, which demonstrated her deep insight and great wisdom.
Umm Salamah (radhiallahu anha) was one of those who were with the Prophet (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) when he went to Makkah to perform ‘Umrah in 6 AH. This is the journey which was interrupted by Quraysh, who prevented the Prophet (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) and his Companions from reaching the Ka’bah. The treaty of al-Hudaybiyah was drawn up between the Prophet (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) and Quraysh. This was a peace-treaty which was intended to put an end to the fighting for ten years; it was also agreed that if anyone from Quraysh came to Muhammad without the permission of his guardian, he would be returned, but if any of the Muslims came to Quraysh, he would not be returned, and that the Muslims would go back that year without entering Makkah, etc.
By virtue of his deep understanding that was derived from the guidance of Allah   (subhanahu wa ta’ala) the Prophet (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) understood that this treaty, which appeared to be quite unfair to the Muslims, was in fact something good and represented a great victory for Islam and the Muslims.
The Sahabah, however, were dismayed when they learned the content of the treaty. They saw it as unfair and unjust, especially as they had the upper hand at that time. ‘Umar ibn al-Khattab expressed the angry feelings of the Sahabah when he went to Abu Bakr and asked him: “Is he not Allah’s Messenger ?” Abu Bakr said, “Of course.” “Are we not Muslims?” “Yes.” “Are they not mushrikin?” “Yes.” “Why should we accept this deal which is so humiliating to our religion?” Abu Bakr warned him, “O ‘Umar, follow his orders. I bear witness that he is Allah’s Messenger .” Umar said, “And I bear witness that he is Allah’s Messenger .” Then ‘Umar went to Allah’s Messenger (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam), and asked him questions similar to those he had asked Abu Bakr. But when he asked, “Why should we accept this deal which is so humiliating to our religion?” the Prophet (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) replied, “I am the servant of Allah (Subhanahu wa ta’ala) and His Messenger; I will never disobey His command, and He will never forsake me.”56
Then ‘Umar realized that his haste to oppose the treaty was a mistake. He used to say, “I kept giving charity, fasting, praying and freeing slaves because of what I had done and said on that day, until I hoped that ultimately it would be good for me (because it made me perform so many good deeds).”57
When the Prophet (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) had ratified the treaty, he commanded his Companions to get up, slaughter their sacrificial animals, and shave their heads, but none of them got up58. He told them three times to do this, but not one of them responded. He went to his wife Umm Salamah, and told her what he was facing from the people. At this point the wisdom and intelligence of Umm Salamah become quite clear: she told him, “O Messenger of Allah, go out and do not speak to any of them until you have sacrificed your animal and shaved your head.”
The Prophet (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) took her advice, and did as she suggested. When the Sahabah saw that, they rushed to sacrifice their animals, pushing one another aside, and some of them began to shave one another’s heads, until they were almost fighting with one another because of their distress and grief, and their regret for having disobeyed the Prophet.59
After that, the Muslims came back to their senses, and they understood the Prophet’s great wisdom in agreeing to this treaty, which in fact was a manifest victory, because many more people entered Islam after it than had before. In Sahih Muslim it states that the ayah,
( Verily We have granted you a manifest Victory) (Qur’an 48:1) referred to the treaty of al-Hudaybiyah. The Prophet (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) sent for ‘Umar and recited this ayah to him. ‘Umar said, “O Messenger of Allah, it is really a victory?” He said, “Yes,” so then ‘Umar felt at peace.60

The Ideal Muslim Woman and Her Husband

(An Excerpt from the Book “The Ideal Muslimah: The True Islâmic Personality of the Muslim Woman as Defined in the Qur’ân and Sunnah”)  
By  Dr. Muhammad ‘Ali Al-Hashimi
Translated by Nasiruddin Al-Khattab and Revised by Ibrahim M. Kunna and Abu  Aya Sulaiman Abdus-Sabur Copyright and published by the International Islâmic Publishing House (IIPH), Riyadh, Saudi Arabia in 1999.
Marriage in Islam
In Islam, marriage is a blessed contract between a man and a woman, in which each becomes “permitted” to the other, and they begin the long journey of life in a spirit of love, co-operation, harmony and tolerance, where each feels at ease with the other, and finds tranquility, contentment and comfort in the company of the other. The Qur’an has described this relationship between men and women, which brings love, harmony, trust and compassion, in the most moving and eloquent terms:
( And among His Signs is this, that He created for you mates from among yourselves, that you may dwell in tranquility with them, and He has put love and mercy between your [hearts] . . .) (Qur’an 30:21)

This is the strongest of bonds, in which Allah (Subhanahu wa ta’ala) unites the two Muslim partners, who come together on the basis of love, understanding, co-operation and mutual advice, and establish a Muslim family in which children will live and grow up, and they will develop the good character and behavior taught by Islam. The Muslim family is the strongest component of a Muslim society when its members are productive and constructive, helping and encouraging one another to be good and righteous, and competing with one another in good works.
The righteous woman is the pillar, cornerstone and foundation of the Muslim family. She is seen as the greatest joy in a man’s life, as the Prophet (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) said:
“This world is just temporary conveniences, and the best comfort in this world is a righteous women.”
A righteous woman is the greatest blessing that Allah (Subhanahu wa ta’ala) can give to a man, for with her he can find comfort and rest after the exhausting struggle of earning a living. With his wife, he can find incomparable tranquility and pleasure.
How can a woman be the best comfort in this world? How can she be a successful woman, true to her own femininity, and honored and loved? This is what will be explained in the following pages:
She chooses a good husband
One of the ways in which Islam has honored woman is by giving her the right to choose her husband. Her parents have no right to force her to marry someone she dislikes. The Muslim woman knows this right, but she does not reject the advice and guidance of her parents when a potential suitor comes along, because they have her best interests at heart, and they have more experience of life and people. At the same time, she does not forego this right because of her father’s wishes that may make him force his daughter into a marriage with someone she dislikes.
There are many texts that support the woman in this sensitive issue, for example the report quoted by Imam Bukhari from al-Khansa’ bint Khidam:
“My father married me to his nephew, and I did not like this match, so I complained to Allah’s Messenger (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam). He said to me: ‘Accept what your father has arranged.’ I said, ‘I do not wish to accept what my father has arranged.’ He said, ‘Then this marriage is invalid, go and marry whomever you wish.’ I said, ‘I have accepted what my father has arranged, but I wanted women to know that fathers have no right in their daughter’s matters (i.e. they have no right to force a marriage on them).’” 2
At first, the Prophet (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) told al-Khansa’ to obey her father, and this is as it should be, because the concern of fathers for their daughters’ well-being is well-known. But when he realized that her father wanted to force her into a marriage she did not want, he gave her the freedom to choose, and saved her from the oppression of a father who wanted to force her into an unwanted marriage.
Islam does not want to impose an unbearable burden on women by forcing them to marry a man they dislike, because it wants marriages to be successful, based on compatibility between the partners; there should be common ground between them in terms of physical looks, attitudes, habits, inclinations and aspirations. If something goes wrong, and the woman feels that she cannot love her husband sincerely, and fears that she may commit the sin of disobeying and opposing this husband whom she does not love, then she may ask for a divorce. This is confirmed by the report in which the wife of Thabit ibn Qays ibn Shammas, Jamilah the sister of ‘Abdullah ibn Ubayy, came to the Prophet (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) and said: “O Messenger of Allah, I have nothing against Thabit ibn Qays as regards his religion or his behavior, but I hate to commit any act of kufr when I am a Muslim. The Prophet (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) said: “Will you give his garden back to him?” - her mahr had been a garden. She said, “Yes.” So Allah’s Messenger  sent word to him: “Take back your garden, and give her one pronouncement of divorce.”3
According to a report given by Bukhari from Ibn ‘Abbas, she said, “I do not blame Thabit for anything with regard to his religion or his behavior, but I do not like him.”
Islam has protected woman’s pride and humanity, and has respected her wishes with regard to the choice of a husband with whom she will spend the rest of her life. It is not acceptable for anyone, no matter who he is, to force a woman into a marriage with a man she does not like.
There is no clearer indication of this than the story of Barirah, an Ethiopian slave-girl who belonged to ‘Utbah ibn Abu Lahab, who forced her to marry another slave whose name was Mughith. She would never have accepted him as a husband if she had been in control of her own affairs. ‘A’ishah (radhiallahu anha) took pity on her, so she bought her and set her free. Then this young woman felt that she was free and in control of her own affairs, and that she could take a decision about her marriage. She asked her husband for a divorce. Her husband used to follow her, weeping, whilst she rejected him. Bukhari quotes Ibn ‘Abbas describing this freed woman who insisted on the annulment of her marriage to someone she did not love; the big-hearted Prophet (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) commented on this moving sight, and sought to intervene.  Ibn ‘Abbas said:
“Barirah’s husband was a slave, who was known as Mughith. I can almost see him, running after her and crying, with tears running down onto his beard. The Prophet (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) said to ‘Abbas, ‘O ‘Abbas, do you not find it strange, how much Mugith loves Barirah, and how much Barirah hates Mughith?’ The Prophet (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) said (to Barirah), ‘Why do you not go back to him?’ She said, ‘O Messenger of Allah, are you commanding me to do so?’ He said, ‘I am merely trying to intervene on his behalf.’ She said, ‘I have no need of him.’” 4
The Prophet (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) was deeply moved by this display of human emotion: deep and overwhelming love on the part of the husband, and equally powerful hatred on the part of the wife. He could not help but remind the wife, and ask her why she did not go back to him, as he was her husband and the father of her child. This believing woman asked him, whether he was ordering her to do so: was this a command, a binding obligation? The Prophet (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam), this great law-giver and educator, replied that he was merely trying to intercede and bring about reconciliation if possible; he was not trying to force anybody to do something they did not wish to.
Let those stubborn, hard-hearted fathers who oppress their own daughters listen to the teaching of the
The Muslim woman who understands the teachings of her religion has wise and correct standards when it comes to choosing a husband. She does not concern herself just with good looks, high status, a luxurious lifestyle or any of the other things that usually attract women. She looks into his level of religious commitment and his attitude and behavior, because these are the pillars of a successful marriage, and the best features of a husband. Islamic teaching indicates the importance of these qualities in a potential husband, as Islam obliges a woman to accept the proposal of anyone who has these qualities, lest fitnah and corruption become widespread in society:
“If there comes to you one with whose religion and attitude you are satisfied, then give your daughter to him in marriage, for if you do not do so, fitnah and mischief will become widespread on earth.”5
Just as the true Muslim young man will not be attracted to the pretty girls who have grown up in a bad environment, so the Muslim young woman who is guided by her religion will not be attracted to stupid “play-boy” types, no matter how handsome they may be. Rather she will be attracted to the serious, educated, believing man who is clean-living and pure of heart, whose behavior is good and whose understanding of religion is sound. No-one is a suitable partner for the good, believing woman except a good, believing man; and no-one is a suitable partner for the wayward, immoral woman but a wayward, immoral man, as Allah (Subhanahu wa ta’ala) has said:
( Women impure are for men impure, and men impure for women impure, and women of purity are for men of purity, and men of purity are for women of purity . . . .) (Qur’an 24:26)
This does not mean that the Muslim woman should completely ignore the matter of physical appearance, and put up with unattractiveness or ugliness. It is her right - as stated above - to marry a man for whom her heart may be filled with love, and who is pleasing to her both in his appearance and in his conduct. Appearance should not be neglected at the expense of inner nature, or vice versa. A woman should choose a man who is attractive to her in all aspects, one who will gain her admiration and respect. The true Muslim woman is never dazzled by outward appearances, and she never lets them distract her from seeing the essence of a potential spouse.
The Muslim woman knows that the man has the right of qiwamah over her, as the Qur’an says:
( Men are the protectors and maintainers [qawwamun] of women, because Allah has given the one more [strength] than the other, and because they support them from their means. . .) (Qur’an 4:34)
Hence she wants to marry a man of whose qiwamah over her she will feel proud, one whom she will be happy to marry and never regret it. She wants a man who will take her hand in his and set out to fulfill their life’s mission of establishing a Muslim family and raising a new generation of intelligent and caring children, in an atmosphere of love and harmony, which will not be impeded by conflicting attitudes or religious differences. Believing men and believing women are supposed to walk side-by-side on the journey of life, which is a serious matter for the believer, so that they may fulfill the great mission with which Allah (Subhanahu wa ta’ala) has entrusted mankind, men and women alike, as the Qur’an says:
( For Muslim men and women - for believing men and women, for devout men and women, for true men and women, for men and women who are constant and patient, for men and women who humble themselves, for men and women who give in charity, for men and women who fast [and deny themselves], for men and women who guard their chastity, and for men and women who engage much in Allah’s praise - for them has Allah prepared forgiveness and great reward.) (Qur’an 33:35)
In order to achieve this great goal of strengthening the marriage bond, and establishing a stable family life, it is essential to choose the right partner in the first place.
Among the great Muslim women who are known for their strength of character, lofty aspirations and far-sightedness in their choice of a husband is Umm Sulaym bint Milhan, who was one of the first Ansar women to embrace Islam. She was married to Malik ibn Nadar, and bore him a son, Anas. When she embraced Islam, her husband Malik was angry with her, and left her, but she persisted in her Islam. Shortly afterwards, she heard the news of his death, and she was still in the flower of her youth. She bore it all with the hope of reward, for the sake of Allah   (subhanahu wa ta’ala) and devoted herself to taking care of her ten-year-old son Anas. She took him to the Prophet (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam), so that he could serve him (and learn from him).
One of the best young men of Madinah, one of the best-looking, richest and strongest, came to seek her hand in marriage. This was Abu Talhah - before he became Muslim. Many of the young women of Yathrib liked him because of his wealth, strength and youthful good looks, and he thought that Umm Sulaym would joyfully rush to accept his offer. But to his astonishment, she told him, “O Abu Talhah, do you not know that your god whom you worship is just a tree that grew in the ground and was carved into shape by the slave of Banu so-and-so.” He said, “Of course.” She said, “Do you not feel ashamed to prostrate yourself to a piece of wood that grew in the ground and was carved by the slave of Banu so-and-so?” Abu Talhah was stubborn, and hinted to her of an expensive dowry and luxurious lifestyle, but she persisted in her point of view, and told him frankly: “O Abu Talhah, a man like you could not be turned away, but you are a disbelieving man, and I am a Muslim woman. It is not permitted for me to marry you, but if you were to embrace Islam, that would be my dowry (mahr), and I would ask you for nothing more.”6
He returned the following day to try to tempt her with a larger dowry and more generous gift, but she stood firm, and her persistence and maturity only enhanced her beauty in his eyes. She said to him, “O Abu Talhah, do you not know that your god whom you worship was carved by the carpenter slave of so-and-so? If you were to set it alight, it would burn.” Her words came as a shock to Abu Talhah, and he asked himself, Does the Rabb (Cherisher and Sustainer)  burn? Then he uttered the words: “Ashhadu an la ilaha ill-Allah wa ashhadu anna Muhammadan rasul-Allah.”
Then Umm Sulaym said to her son Anas, with joy flooding her entire being, “O Anas, marry me to Abu Talhah.” So Anas brought witnesses and the marriage was solemnized.
Abu Talhah was so happy that he was determined to put all his wealth at Umm Sulaym’s disposal, but hers was the attitude of the selfless, proud, sincere believing woman. She told him, “O Abu Talhah, I married you for the sake of Allah   (subhanahu wa ta’ala) and I will not take any other dowry.” She knew that when Abu Talhah embraced Islam, she did not only win herself a worthy husband, but she also earned a reward from Allah (Subhanahu wa ta’ala) that was better than owning red camels (the most highly-prized kind) in this world, as she had heard the Prophet (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) say:
“If Allah (Subhanahu wa ta’ala) were to guide one person to Islam through you, it is better for you than owning red camels.”7
Such great Muslim women are examples worthy of emulation, from whom Muslim women may learn purity of faith, strength of character, soundness of belief and wisdom in choosing a husband.

She is obedient to her husband and shows him respect
The true Muslim woman is always obedient to her husband, provided that no sin is involved. She is respectful towards him and is always eager to please him and make him happy. If he is poor, she does not complain about his being unable to spend much. She does not complain about her housework, because she remembers that many of the virtuous women in Islamic history set an example of patience, goodness and a positive attitude in serving their husbands and taking care of their homes despite the poverty and hardships they faced. One of the foremost of these exemplary wives is Fatimah al-Zahra’, the daughter of Muhammad(sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) and the wife of ‘Ali ibn Abi Talib  (radhiallahu anhu).  She used to complain of the pain in her hands caused by grinding grain with the hand-mill. Her husband ‘Ali ibn Abi Talib said to her one day, “Your father has brought some female slaves, so go and ask him for one of them to come and serve you.” She went to her father, but she felt too shy to ask him for what she wanted. ‘Ali went and asked him to provide a servant for his beloved daughter, but the Prophet (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) could not respond to those who most dear to him whilst ignoring the needs of the poor among the Muslims, so he came to his daughter and her husband and said: “Shall I not teach you something that is better than that for which you asked me? When you go to bed at night, say ‘Subhan Allah’ thirty-three times, ‘Al-hamdu lillah’ thirty-three times, and ‘Allahu akbar’ thirty-four times. This is better for you than a servant.”
Then he bid them farewell and left, after telling them this divine help which would make them forget their tiredness and help them to overcome their exhaustion.
‘Ali (radhiallahu anhu) began to repeat the words that the Prophet (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) had taught him. He said, “I never stopped doing that after he had taught me these words.” One of his companions asked him, “Not even on the night of Siffin?” He said, “Not even on the night of Siffin.”8
Asma’ bint Abi Bakr al-Siddiq served her husband al-Zubayr, and took care of the house. Her husband had a horse, which she took care of, feeding it and exercising it. She also repaired the water-bucket, made bread, and carried dates on her head from far away. Bukhari and Muslim report this in her own words:
“Al-Zubayr married me, and he had no wealth, no slaves, nothing except his horse. I used to feed his horse, looking after it and exercising it. I crushed date-stones to feed his camel. I used to bring water and repair the bucket, and I used to make bread but I could not bake it, so some of my Ansari neighbors, who were kind women, used to bake it for me. I used to carry the dates from the garden that the Prophet (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) had given to al-Zubayr on my head, and this garden was two-thirds of a farsakh away. One day I was coming back with the dates on my head. I met Allah’s Messenger , who had a group of his Companions with him. He called me, then told his camel to sit down so that I could ride behind him. I told (al-Zubayr), ‘I felt shy, because I know that you are a jealous man.’ He said, ‘It is worse for me to see you carrying the dates on your head than to see you riding behind him.’ Later, Abu Bakr sent me a servant, who relieved me of having to take care of the horse; it was as if I had been released from slavery.”9
The true Muslim woman devotes herself to taking care of her house and husband. She knows her husband’s rights over her, and how great they are, as was confirmed by the Prophet’s words:
“No human being is permitted to prostrate to another, but if this were permitted I would have ordered wives to prostrate to their husbands, because of the greatness of the rights they have over them.”10
And:
“If I were to order anyone to prostrate to anyone else, I would have ordered women to prostrate to their husbands.”11
‘A’ishah (radhiallahu anha) asked Allah’s Messenger (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam): “Who has the greatest rights over a woman?” He said, “Her husband.” She asked, ‘And who has the greatest rights over a man?” He said, “His mother.”12
A woman came to ask the Prophet (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) about some matter, and when he had dealt with it, he asked her, “Do you have a husband?” She said, “Yes.” He asked her, “How are you with him?” She said, “I never fall short in my duties, except for that which is beyond me.” He said, “Pay attention to how you treat him, for he is your Paradise and your Hell.”13 
How can the Muslim woman complain about taking care of her house and husband when she hears these words of Prophetic guidance? She should fulfill her household duties and take care of her husband in a spirit of joy, because she is not carrying a tiresome burden, she is doing work in her home that she knows will bring reward from Allah  (subhanahu wa ta’ala).
The Sahabah, may Allah (Subhanahu wa ta’ala) be pleased with them, and those who followed them understood this Islamic teaching and transmitted it from the Prophet (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam). When a bride was prepared for marriage, she would be told to serve her husband and take care of his rights. Thus the Muslim woman knew her duties towards her husband, and down through the ages caring for her husband and being a good wife were established womanly attributes. One example of this is what was said by the faqih al-Hanbali ibn al-Jawzi in his book Ahkam al-Nisa’ (p. 331): In the second century AH there was a righteous man called Shu’ayb ibn Harb, who used to fast and spend his nights in prayer. He wanted to marry a woman, and told her humbly, “I am a bad-tempered man.” She replied, tactfully and cleverly, “The one who makes you lose your temper is worse than you.” He realized that there stood before him a woman who was intelligent, wise and mature. He immediately said to her, “You will be my wife.”
This woman had a clear understanding of how to be a good wife, which confirmed to the man who had come to seek her hand that she was a woman who would understand the psychology and nature of her husband and would know what would please him and what would make him angry; she would be able to win his heart and earn his admiration and respect, and would close the door to every possible source of conflict that could disrupt their married life. The woman who does not understand these realities does not deserve to be a successful wife; through her ignorance and shortcomings she may provoke her husband to lose his temper, in which case, she would be worse than him, for being the direct cause of his anger.
The tactful Muslim woman is never like this. She helps her husband to be of good character, by displaying different types of intelligence, cleverness and alertness in the way she deals with him. This opens his heart to her and makes him fond of her, because being a good wife is a not only a quality that she may boast about among her friends, but it is also a religious obligation for which Allah (Subhanahu wa ta’ala) will call her to account: if she has done well, she will be rewarded, but if she has fallen short she will have to pay the penalty.
One of the most important ways in which the Muslim woman obeys her husband is by respecting his wishes with regard to the permissible pleasures of daily life, such as social visits, food, dress, speech, etc. The more she responds to his wishes in such matters, the happier and more enjoyable the couple’s life becomes, and the closer it is to the spirit and teachings of Islam.
The Muslim woman does not forget that her obedience to her husband is one of the things that may lead her to Paradise, as the Prophet (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) said:
“If a woman prays her five daily prayers, fasts her month (of Ramadan), obeys her husband and guards her chastity, then it will be said to her: ‘Enter Paradise by whichever of its gates you wish.’” 14
Umm Salamah (radhiallahu anha) said:
“ Allah’s Messenger (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) said: ‘Any woman who dies, and her husband is pleased with her, will enter Paradise.’” 15
The Prophet (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) draw a clear and delightful picture of the well-behaved, easy-going, loving, righteous Muslim wife, one who will be happy in this world and the next:
“Shall I not tell you about your wives in Paradise?” We said, “Of course, O Messenger of Allah.” He said, “They are fertile and loving. If she becomes angry or is mistreated, or her husband becomes angry, she says, ‘My hand is in your hand; I shall never sleep until you are pleased with me.’” 16
The true Muslim woman knows that Islam, which has multiplied her reward for obeying her husband and made it a means of her admittance to Paradise, has also warned every woman who deviates from the path of marital obedience and neglects to take care of her husband, that she will be guilty of sin, and will incur the wrath and curses of the angels.
Bukhari and Muslim report from Abu Hurayrah that the Prophet (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) said:
“If a man calls his wife to his bed and she does not come, and he goes to sleep angry with her, the angels will curse her until the morning.”17
Muslim reports from Abu Hurayrah that the Prophet (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) said Imam:
“By the One in Whose hand is my soul, there is no man who calls his wife to his bed, and she refuses him, but the One Who is in heaven will be angry with her, until the husband is pleased with her once more.”18
The angels’ curse will befall every woman who is rebellious and disobedient; this does not exclude those who are too slow and reluctant to respond to their husbands:
“Allah (Subhanahu wa ta’ala) will curse those procrastinating women who, when their husbands call them to their beds, say ‘I will, I will . . .’ until he falls asleep.” 19
Marriage in Islam is intended to protect the chastity of men and women alike, therefore it is the woman’s duty to respond to her husband’s requests for conjugal relations. She should not give silly excuses and try to avoid it. For this reason, several hadith urge a wife to respond to her husband’s needs as much as she is able, no matter how busy she may be or whatever obstacles there may be, so long as there is no urgent or unavoidable reason not to do so.  In one of these hadith, the Prophet (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) said:
“If a man calls his wife to his bed, let her respond, even if she is riding her camel [i.e., very busy].”20
And:
“If a man calls his wife, then let her come, even if she is busy at the oven.”21
The issue of protecting a man’s chastity and keeping him away from temptation is more important than anything else that a woman can do, because Islam wants men and women alike to live in an environment which is entirely pure and free from any motive of fitnah or haram pleasures. The flames of sexual desire and thoughts of pursuing them through haram means can only be extinguished by means of discharging that natural energy in natural and lawful ways. This is what the Prophet (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) meant in the hadith narrated by Muslim from Jabir:
“If anyone of you is attracted to a woman, let him go to his wife and have intercourse with her, for that will calm him down.”22
The warning given to the woman whose husband is angry with her reaches such an extent that it would shake the conscience of every righteous wife who has faith in Allah (Subhanahu wa ta’ala) and the Last Day: she is told that her prayer and good deeds will not be accepted, until her husband is pleased with her again. This is stated in the hadith narrated by Jabir from ‘Abdullah:
“ Allah’s Messenger (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) said: ‘There are three people whose prayers will not be accepted, neither their good works: a disobedient slave until he returns to his masters and puts his hand in theirs; a woman whose husband is angry with her, until he is pleased with her again; and the drunkard, until he becomes sober.’” 23
When these hadith refer to the husband being angry with his wife, they refer to cases in which the husband is right and the wife is wrong. When the opposite is the case, and the husband is wrong, then his anger has no negative implications for her; in fact, Allah (Subhanahu wa ta’ala) will reward the wife for her patience. But the wife is still required to obey her husband, so long as no sin is involved, because there should be no obedience to a created being if it entails disobedience to the Creator. Concerning this, the Prophet (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) said:
“It is not permitted for a woman who believes in Allah (Subhanahu wa ta’ala) to allow anyone into her husband’s house whom he dislikes; or to go out when he does not want her to; or to obey anyone else against him; or to forsake his bed; or to hit him. If he is wrong, then let her come to him until he is pleased with her, and if he accepts her then all is well, Allah (Subhanahu wa ta’ala) will accept her deeds and make her position stronger, and there will be no sin on her. If he does not accept her, then at least she will have done her best and excused herself in the sight of Allah  (subhanahu wa ta’ala). “24
Another aspect of wifely obedience is that she should not fast at times other than Ramadan except with his permission, that she should not allow anyone to enter his house without his permission, and that she should not spend any of his earnings without his permission. If she spends anything without him having told her to do so, then half of the reward for that spending will be given to him. The true Muslim woman takes heed of this teaching which was stated by the Prophet (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) in the hadith:
“It is not permitted for a woman to fast when her husband is present, except with his permission; or to allow anyone into his house except with his permission; or to spend any of his earnings unless he has told her to do so, otherwise half of the reward will be given to him.”25
According to a report given by Muslim, he (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) said:
“A woman should not fast if her husband is present, except with his permission. She should not allow anyone to enter his house when he is present without his permission. Whatever she spends of his wealth without him having told her to do so, half of the reward for it will be given to him.”26
The point here is the permission of the husband. If a wife gives some of his money in voluntary charity without his permission, then she will not receive any reward; on the contrary, it will be recorded as a sin on her part. If she wants to spend in his absence, and she knows that if he knew about it he would give his permission, then she is allowed to do so, otherwise it is not permitted.
Mutual understanding and harmony between husband and wife cannot be achieved unless there is understanding between them on such matters, so that neither of them will fall into such errors and troubles as may damage the marriage which Islam has built on a basis of love and mercy, and sought to maintain its purity, care and harmony.
If the husband is a miser, and spends too little on her and her children, then she is allowed to spend as much as she needs from his wealth on herself and her children, in moderation, without his knowledge. The Prophet (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) stated this to Hind bint ‘Utbah, the wife of Abu Sufyan, when she came to him and said, “O Messenger of Allah, Abu Sufyan is a stingy man. What he gives me is not enough for me and my child, unless I take from him without his knowledge.” He told her, “Take what is enough for you and your child, in moderation.”27 Thus Islam has made women responsible for good conduct in their running of the household affairs.
The Muslim woman understands the responsibility that Islam has given her, to take care of her husband’s house and children by making her a “shepherd” over her husband’s house and children. She has been specifically reminded of this responsibility in recognition of her role, in the hadith in which the Prophet (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) made every individual in the Islamic society responsible for those under his or her authority in such a way that no-one, man or woman, may evade responsibility:
“Each of you is a shepherd, and each is responsible for those under his care. A ruler is a shepherd; a man is the shepherd of his family; a woman is the shepherd of her husband’s house and children. For each of you is a shepherd and each of you is responsible for those under his care.”28
The true Muslim woman is always described as being loving towards her children and caring towards her husband. These are two of the most beautiful characteristics that a woman of any time or place may possess. The Prophet (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) praised these two characteristics, which were embodied by the women of Quraysh, who represented the best women among the Arabs in terms of loving their children, caring for their husbands, respecting their rights and looking after their wealth with care, honesty and wisdom:
“The best women who ride camels are the women of Quraysh. They are the most compassionate towards their children when they are small, and the most careful with regard to their husbands’ wealth.”29
This is a valuable testimony on the part of the Prophet (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam), attesting to the psychological and moral qualities of the women of Quraysh which enhanced their beauty and virtue. This testimony represents a call to every Muslim woman to emulate the women of Quraysh in loving her children and taking care of her husband. These two important characteristics contribute to the success of a marriage, make individuals and families happy, and help a society to advance.
It is a great honor for a woman to take care of her husband every morning and evening, and wherever he goes, treating him with gentleness and good manners which will fill his life with joy, tranquility and stability. Muslim women have the best example in ‘A’ishah (May Allah be pleased with her), who used to accompany the Prophet (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) on Hajj, surrounding him with her care, putting perfume on him with her own hands before he entered ihram, and after he finished his ihram, before he performed tawaf al-ifadah.30 She chose for him the best perfume that she could find. This is stated in a number of sahih hadith reported by Bukhari and Muslim, for example:
“I applied perfume to  Allah’s Messenger (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) with myown hands before he entered the state of ihram and when he concluded it before circumambulating the House.”31
“I applied perfume to  Allah’s Messenger (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) with these two hands of mine when he entered ihram and when he concluded it, before he performed tawaf,” - and she spread her hands.32
‘Urwah said:

“I asked ‘A’ishah, ‘With what did you perfume  Allah’s Messenger (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) at the time when he entered ihram?’ She said, ‘With the best of perfume.’” 33

According to another report also given by Muslim, ‘A’ishah  (radhiallahu anha) said:
“I applied the best perfume I could find to  Allah’s Messenger (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) before he entered ihram and when he concluded it, before he performed tawaf al-ifadah.”34
When the Prophet (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) was in seclusion (i’tikaf), he would lean his head towards ‘A’ishah, and she would comb and wash his hair. Bukhari and Muslim both report this in sahih hadith narrated from ‘A’ishah (May Allah be pleased with her), such as:
“When  Allah’s Messenger (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) was in i’tikaf, he inclined his head towards me and I combed his hair, and he did not enter the house except to answer the call of nature.”35
“I used to wash the Prophet’s head when I was menstruating.”36
‘Aishah urged women to take good care of their husbands and to recognize the rights that their husbands had over them. She saw these rights as being so great and so important that a woman was barely qualified to wipe the dust from her husband’s feet with her face, as she stated: “O womenfolk, if you knew the rights that your husbands have over you, every one of you would wipe the dust from her husband’s feet with her face.”37
This is a vivid expression of the importance of the husband’s rights over his wife. ‘A’ishah wanted to bring this to women’s attention, so as to remove from the hearts of arrogant and stubborn women all those harsh, obstinate feelings that all too often destroy a marriage and turn it into a living hell.
Honoring and respecting one’s husband is one of the characteristic attitudes of this ummah. It is one of the good manners known at the time of jahiliyyah that were endorsed by Islam and perpetuated by the Arabs after they embraced Islam. Our Arab heritage is filled with texts that eloquently describe the advice given by mothers to their daughters, to care for, honor  and respect their husbands; these texts may be regarded as invaluable social documents.
One of the most famous and most beautiful of these texts was recorded by ‘Abd al-Malik ibn ‘Umayr al-Qurashi, who was one of the outstanding scholars of the second century AH. He quotes the words of advice given by Umamah bint al-Harith, one of the most eloquent and learned women, who was possessed of wisdom and great maturity, to her daughter on the eve of her marriage. These beautiful words deserve to be inscribed in golden ink.
‘Abd al-Malik said: “When ‘Awf ibn Muhallim al-Shaybani, one of the most highly respected leaders of the Arab nobility during the jahiliyyah, married his daughter Umm Iyas to al-Harith ibn ‘Amr al-Kindi, she was made ready to be taken to the groom, then her mother Umamah came in to her, to advise her, and said:
‘O my daughter, if it were deemed unnecessary to give you this advice because of good manners and noble descent, then it would have been unnecessary for you, because you possess these qualities, but it will serve as a reminder to those who are forgetful, and will help those who are wise.
‘O my daughter, if a woman were able to do without a husband by virtue of her father’s wealth and her need for her father, then you of all people would be most able to do without a husband, but women were created for men just as men were created for them.
‘O my daughter, you are about to leave the home in which you grew up, where you first learned to walk, to go to a place you do not know, to a companion with whom you are unfamiliar. By marrying you he has become a master over you, so be like a servant to him, and he will become like a servant to you.
‘Take from me ten qualities, which will be a provision and a reminder for you.
‘The first and second of them are: be content in his company, and listen to and obey him, for contentment brings peace of mind, and listening to and obeying one’s husband pleases Allah.
‘The third and fourth of them are: make sure that you smell good and look good; he should not see anything ugly in you, and he should not smell anything but a pleasant smell from you. Kohl is the best kind of beautification to be found, and water is better than the rarest perfume.
‘The fifth and the sixth of them are: prepare his food on time, and keep quiet when he is asleep, for raging hunger is like a burning flame, and disturbing his sleep will make him angry.
‘The seventh and eighth of them are: take care of his servants (or employees) and children, and take care of his wealth, for taking care of his wealth shows that you appreciate him, and taking care of his children and servants shows good management.
‘The ninth and tenth of them are: never disclose any of his secrets, and never disobey any of his orders, for if you disclose any of his secrets you will never feel safe from his possible betrayal, and if you disobey him, his heart will be filled with hatred towards you.
‘Be careful, O my daughter, of showing joy in front of him when he is upset, and do not show sorrow in front of him when he is happy, because the former shows a lack of judgment, whilst the latter will make him unhappy.
‘Show him as much honor and respect as you can, and agree with him as much as you can, so that he will enjoy your companionship and conversation.
‘Know, O my daughter, that you will not achieve what you would like to until you put his pleasure before your own, and his wishes before yours, in whatever you like and dislike. And may Allah (Subhanahu wa ta’ala) choose what is best for you and protect you.’” 38
She was taken to her husband, and the marriage was a great success; she gave birth to kings who ruled after him.
This advice clearly included everything that one could think of as regards the good manners that a young girl needs to know about in order to treat her husband properly and be a suitable companion for him. The words of this wise mother deserve to be taken as the standard for every young girl who is about to get married.
If she is rich, the true Muslim woman does not let her wealth and financial independence make her blind to the importance of respecting her husband’s rights over her. She still takes care of him and honors him, no matter how rich she is or may become. She knows that she is obliged to show gratitude to Allah for the blessings He has bestowed upon her, so she increases her charitable giving for the sake of Allah. The first person to whom she should give generously is her own husband, if he is poor; in this case she will receive two rewards, one for taking care of a family member, and another for giving charity, as the Prophet (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) stated in the hadith narrated by Zaynab al-Thaqafiyyah, the wife of ‘Abdullah ibn Mas’ud (radhiallahu anhu):
“The Prophet (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) told us: ‘O women, give in charity even if it is some of your jewelry.’ She said, ‘I went back to ‘Abdullah ibn Mas’ud and told him. ‘You are a man of little wealth, and the Prophet (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) has commanded us to give charity, so go and ask him whether it is permissible for me to give you charity. If it is, I will do so; if it is not, I will give charity to someone else.’ ‘Abdullah said, ‘No, you go and ask.’ So I went, and I found a woman of the Ansar at the Prophet’s door, who also had the question. We felt too shy to go in, out of respect, so Bilal came out and we asked him, ‘Go and tell Allah’s Messenger  that there are two women at the door asking you: Is it permissible for them to give sadaqah to their husbands and the orphans in their care? But do not tell him who we are.’ So Bilal went in and conveyed this message to the Prophet (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam), who asked, ‘Who are they?’ Bilal said, ‘One of the women of the Ansar, and Zaynab (radhiallahu anha)’ The Prophet (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) asked, ‘Which Zaynab is it?’ Bilal said, ‘The wife of ‘Abdullah.’ The Prophet (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) said: ‘They will have two rewards, the reward for upholdithe relationship, and the reward for giving charity.’” 39 According to a report given by Bukhari, he said, “Your husband and your child are more deserving of your charity.”40
The true Muslim woman is always careful to give thanks for Allah’s blessings if her life is easy, and she never loses her patience if she encounters difficulty. She never forgets the warning that the Prophet (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) issued to women in general, when he saw that most of the inhabitants of Hell will be women, and so she seeks refuge with Allah from becoming one of them.
Bukhari and Muslim narrated from Ibn ‘Abbas (radhiallahu anhu) that the Prophet (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) said: “O women, give charity, for I have surely seen that you form the majority of the inhabitants of Hell.” They asked, ‘Why is this so, O Messenger of Allah?” He said, “Because you curse too much, and are ungrateful for good treatment (on the part of your husbands).”41
According to another report given by Bukhari, he said, “because they are ungrateful for good and kind treatment. Even if you treated one of them (these ungrateful women) well for an entire lifetime, then she saw one fault in you, she would say, ‘I have never seen anything good from you!’” 42
According to a report given by Ahmad, a man said, “O Messenger of Allah, are they not our mothers and sisters and wives?” He said, “Of course, but when they are treated generously they are ungrateful, and when they are tested, they do not have patience.”43
When the true Muslim woman thinks about these sahih hadith which describe the fate of most women in the Hereafter, she is always on the alert lest she fall into the sins of ingratitude towards her husband, or frequent cursing, or denying her husband’s good treatment of her, or forgetting to give thanks for times of ease, or failing to be patient at times of difficulty. In any case, she hastens to give charity as the Prophet (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) urged all women to do, in the hope that it may save them from that awful fate which will befall most of those women who deviate from truth and let trivial matters distract them from remembering Allah (Subhanahu wa ta’ala) and the Last Day, and whose bad qualities will ultimately lead them into the Fire of Hell. The Muslim woman, on the other hand, sets the highest example of respect towards one’s husband and taking note of his good qualities. This is the attitude of loyalty that befits the true Muslim woman who respects her husband’s rights and does not ignore his virtues.
Muslim women’s history is full of stories which reflect this loyalty and recognition of the good qualities of the husband. One of these stories is that of Asma’ bint ‘Umays, who was one of the greatest women in Islam, and one of the first women to migrate to Madinah. She was married to Ja’far ibn Abi Talib, then to Abu Bakr al-Siddiq, then to ‘Ali, may Allah be pleased with them all. On one occasion, her two sons Muhammad ibn Ja’far and Muhammad ibn Abi Bakr were competing with one another, each of them saying. “I am better than you, and my father is better than your father.” ‘Ali said to her, “Judge between them, O Asma’.” She said, “I have never seen a young man among the Arabs who was better than Ja’far, and I have never seen a mature man who was better than Abu Bakr.” ‘Ali said, “You have not left anything for me. If you had said anything other than what you have said, I would have hated you!” Asma’ said: “These are the best three, and you are one of them even if you are the least of them.”44
What a clever and eloquent answer this wise woman gave! She gave each of her three husbands the respect he deserved, and pleased ‘Ali, even though he was the least of them, because she included all of them in that group of the best.
She treats his mother and family with kindness and respect
One of the ways in which a wife expresses her respect towards her husband is by honoring and respecting his mother.
The Muslim woman who truly understands the teachings of her religion knows that the person who has the greatest right over a man is his mother, as we have seen in the hadith of ‘A’ishah (radhiallahu anha) quoted above. So she helps him to honor and respect his mother, by also honoring and respecting her. In this way she will do herself and her husband a favor, as she will helping him to do good deeds and fear Allah   (subhanahu wa ta’ala) as commanded by the Qur’an. At the same time, she will endear herself to her husband, who will appreciate her honor and respect towards his family in general, and towards his mother in particular. Nothing could please a decent, righteous and respectful man more than seeing strong ties of love and respect between his wife and his family, and nothing could be more hateful to a decent man than to see those ties destroyed by the forces of evil, hatred and conspiracy. The Muslim family which is guided by faith in Allah (Subhanahu wa ta’ala) and follows the pure teachings of Islam is unlikely to fall into the trap of such jahili behavior, which usually flourishes in an environment that is far removed from the true teachings of this religion.
A Muslim wife may find herself being tested by her mother-in-law and other in-laws, if they are not of good character. If such is the case, she is obliged to treat them in the best way possible, which requires a great deal of cleverness, courtesy, diplomacy and repelling evil with that which is better. Thus she will maintain a balance between her relationship with her in-laws and her relationship with her husband, and she will protect herself and her marriage from any adverse effects that may result from the lack of such a balance.
The Muslim woman should never think that she is the only one who is required to be a good and caring companion to her spouse, and that nothing similar is required of her husband or that there is nothing wrong with him mistreating her or failing to fulfill some of the responsibilities of marriage. Islam has regulated the marital relationship by giving each partner both rights and duties. The wife’s duties of honor ing and taking care of her husband are balanced by the rights that she has over him, which are that he should protect her honor  and dignity from all kinds of mockery, humiliation, trials or oppression. These rights of the wife comprise the husband’s duties towards her: he is obliged to honor  them and fulfill them as completely as possible.
One of the Muslim husband’s duties is to fulfill his role of qawwam (maintainer and protector) properly. This is a role that can only be properly fulfilled by a man who is a successful leader in his home and family, one who possesses likeable masculine qualities. Such a man has a noble and worthy attitude, is tolerant, overlooks minor errors, is in control of his married life, and is generous without being extravagant. He respects his wife’s feelings and makes her feel that she shares the responsibility of running the household affairs, bringing up the children, and working with him to build a sound Muslim family, as Islam wants it to be.
She endears herself to her husband and is keen to please him
The true Muslim woman is always keen to win her husband’s love and to please him. Nothing should spoil his happiness or enjoyment of life. So she speaks kind words to him, and refrains from saying anything hurtful or upsetting. She brings him good news, but she keeps bad news from him as much as she can, or postpones telling it until a more suitable time when it will not upset him so much. If she finds that she has no alternative but to tell him upsetting news, she looks for the most suitable way to convey it, so that the blow will not be so hard on him. This is the wise approach and good conduct of the clever woman, but it is very difficult to attain and only a very few virtuous women ever do so.
One of those who did reach this high level was the great Muslim woman Umm Sulaym bint Milhan, the wife of Abu Talhah al-Ansari. Her son passed away whilst Abu Talhah was  traveling, and her attitude was so unique that if Imam Muslim had not reported this story we would have taken it to be a mere myth. Let us hear her son Anas ibn Malik tell the story of his remarkable mother and her unattitude:
“A son of Abu Talhah by Umm Sulaym died. Umm Sulaym told her family, ‘Do not tell Abu Talhah about his son until I tell him about it.’ Abu Talhah came home, so she prepared dinner for him, and he ate and drank. Then she beautified herself in a way that she had never done before, and he had sexual intercourse with her. When she saw that he was satisfied, she said, ‘O Abu Talhah, do you think that if a people lent something to a household, then asked for it back, do they have the right not to return it?’ He said, ‘No.’ She said, ‘Then resign yourself to the death of your son.’ Abu Talhah became angry and said, ‘You let me indulge myself and then you tell me about my son!’ He went to  Allah’s Messenger (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) and told him what had happened.  Allah’s Messenger (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) said, ‘May Allah bless both of you for this night!’ Umm Sulaym became pregnant.  Allah’s Messenger (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) went on a journey, and she accompanied him. Whenever  Allah’s Messenger (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) came back from a journey, he never entered Madinah at night. When they (the  traveling-party) approached Madinah, her labour-pains started. Abu Talhah stayed with her, and  Allah’s Messenger (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) went on ahead to Madinah. Abu Talhah said, ‘O Rabb (Cherisher and Sustainer) , You know how I love to go out with Your Messenger when he goes out, and to come back with him when he comes back, and I have been detained, as You see.’ Umm Sulaym said, ‘O Abu Talhah, I do not feel as much pain as I did before, so let us go on.’ When they reached (Madinah), her labour-pains started again, and she gave birth to a boy. My mother said to me, ‘O Anas, nobody should feed him until you take him to Allah’s Messenger  in the morning.’ So when morning came, I took the baby to Allah’s Messenger (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam), and when I met him he was carrying an iron tool. When he saw me, he said, ‘I hope that Umm Sulaym has given birth.’ I said, ‘Yes.’ So he put down the tool and I brought the child to him and placed him in his lap.  Allah’s Messenger (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) called for some of the dates of Madinah. He chewed it until it became soft, then he put it in the baby’s mouth and the baby began to smack his lips.  Allah’s Messenger (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) said: ‘See how much the Ansar love dates!’ Then he wiped the baby’s face and named him ‘Abdullah.”45
How great was Umm Sulaym’s faith, and how magnificent her patience and virtue! How bravely she hid her pain from her husband and endeared herself to him. She managed to conceal her grief at the loss of her beloved son and spent that time with her husband patiently hoping that by being a good wife to her husband she might earn the pleasure of Allah  (subhanahu wa ta’ala).  This is true, deep and sincere faith.
Allah (Subhanahu wa ta’ala) answered the Prophet’s prayer for Umm Sulaym and her husband, and she became pregnant from that night. When she was heavily pregnant, she saw her husband Abu Talhah preparing to set out on another military campaign with Allah’s Messenger (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam). She insisted on partaking of the honor  of jihad with him alongside Allah’s Messenger (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam), even though she was in the later stages of pregnancy. Her husband took pity on her because of the difficulties of the journey and the heat of the desert, but he still asked the Prophet (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) for permission to let her come with him, and he gave his permission because he knew her strength of character and love of jihad.
Umm Sulaym was present when the Muslims were triumphant at Makkah, and when they were sorely tested at Hunayn. She stood firm, as solid as a rock, alongside her husband and the small group of believers around the Prophet (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam), even though she was pregnant, at that most difficult time when many others had fled, and she remained there until Allah (Subhanahu wa ta’ala) brought victory to the believers.
The mujahid army returned to Madinah, and her labour began. When the pains became intense, she and her husband stayed behind for a while, but her husband prayed to his Rabb (Cherisher and Sustainer)  in the still of night becasue he loved to go out and return with the Prophet (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam). Suddenly the pains ceased; she told her husband and they set out to follow the army that had gone on ahead. They caught up with them, and after they had entered Madinah, Umm Sulaym’s labour pains began anew. She gave birth to a boy, and his brother on his mother’s side, Anas, brought him to the Prophet (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam), who fed him a small amount of dates (tahnik) and named him ‘Abdullah. The prayer of the Prophet (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) for this baby was fulfilled, as among his descendents were ten great scholars.
No doubt Allah (Subhanahu wa ta’ala) knew the sincerity of Umm Sulaym’s faith, and conveyed the good news of Paradise to her via His Prophet (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam):
“I entered Paradise, and heard footsteps. I said, ‘Who is this?’ and they told me, ‘It is al-Ghumaysa’, the daughter of Milhan, the mother of Anas ibn Malik.’” 46
Another example of the ways in which a wife may endear herself to her husband is the way in which ‘A’ishah (radhiallahu anha) spoke to the Prophet (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) when he came back to his wives after he had kept away from them for a month. He had said, “I will not go in to them for a month,” because he was so angry with them. When twenty-nine days had passed, he came to ‘A’ishah first. ‘A’ishah said to him, ‘You swore to stay away from us for a month, and only twenty-nine days have passed; I have been counting them.” The Prophet (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) said, “This month has twenty-nine days.” That particular month had only twenty-nine days.47
‘A’ishah’s telling the Prophet (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) that she had counted twenty-nine days was a clear indication of her love towards her husband and of how she had waited, day by day, hour by hour, for him to come back to her. It shows how she loved and missed her husband. This approach made her even dearer to him, so when he came back to his wives, he started with her.
The sincere Muslim woman recognizes her husband’s likes and habits, and tries to accommodate them as much as she can, in the interests of mutual understanding and marital harmony, and to protect the marriage from the boredom of routine. This is what every wise and intelligent wife does. It was narrated that the qadi and faqih Shurayh married a woman from Banu Hanzalah. On their wedding night, each of them prayed two rak’ahs and asked Allah (Subhanahu wa ta’ala) to bless them. Then the bride turned to Shurayh and said, “I am a stranger, and I do not not know much about you. Tell me what you like, and I will do it, and tell me what you do not like so I may avoid it.” Shurayh said, “She stayed with me for twenty years, and I never had to tell her off for anything, except on one occasion, and I was in the wrong then.”
This is the respectful and loving wife as Islam wants her to be, responsible for her home and loyal to her husband, and always careful to maintain a good relationship between them. If anything happens to upset their marriage, she hastens to calm the situation with her sincere love and wise understanding. She does not listen to the whispering of the Shaytan which calls her to do wrong, and she never hastens to ask her husband for a divorce. The marriage bond should be too strong to be undone by temporary arguments or occasional misunderstandings. The Prophet (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) warned those foolish women who ask their husbands for a divorce with no legitimate reason that they would be denied even the scent of Paradise:

“Any woman who asks her husband for a divorce with no good reason will be deprived of even smelling the scent of Paradise.”48

Alhamdulillah Berkat Internet , Aku XLangkah Lebih Maju Mendapatkan Jodoh Dari Negeri Seberang ( Polandia ) :)

Berbicara tentang internet , aku mau ngucapin terimah kasih untuk orang yang udah nemu neh internet" Dziekuje interneta ( baca Jingkuye interneta:) , Alhamdulilah gimana gak banyak bersyukur dan ngucapin terimah kasih coba , kalau dunia yang sebegini luas terasa dekat hanya melalui seperangkat komputer yang terhubung ke jaringan dunia yakni  Internet ( Interconection Network ) yang membuat aku "XLangkah Lebih Maju" mendapatkan jodoh dan menikah di usia muda Alhamdulillah dengan seorang laki-laki muslim asal Polandia Abdullah Pisarzewski suamiku tercinta . ^_^.Banyak orang bertanya bagaimana aku dan suamiku bertemu :) , kami pasti dengan kompak menjawab " Internet XLangkah Lebih Maju Mendapatkan Jodoh Dari Benua Seberang " .hahaha ^_^ maaf untuk hal yang satu ini aku tak bisa menahan diri untuk tidak  tertawa.Bahkan aku dan Abang ( panggilanku untuk suamiku tercinta Abdullah Pisarzewski ) kadang suka saling pandang dan tertawa sendiri dan mengucapkan takbir Allahu Akbar....Allahu Akbar :) ( Alhamdulillah kami berdua memang  sama-sama muslim ) jadi bareng-bareng ngucapin takbir , maklum Abangku sayang ini juga bisa dibilang Ustadz lah , ^_^ aku sendiri adalah murid pribadinya.

Antara Aku  dan Internet   ^_^

Perkenalan pertamaku dengan internet saat aku duduk di bangku SMA kelas tiga ^_^ di Ternate , Maluku Utara tahun 2004 sangat...sangat terlambat saudara-saudara :D .hahahha tapi tak apalah kalau kata pepatah " Lebih Baik Terlambat Daripada Tidak Sama Sekali , dalam hatiku  ( bahasa kalbuku yang lebay.com ) lebih baik terlambat sekolah daripada tidak mengenal komputer karena Internet membuat hidup XLangkah Lebih Maju  ( warning !!!! jangan ditiru ya terlambat sekolahnya :D kalau mau XLangkah Lebih Maju harus rajin dan disiplin).Dalam pikiranku saat itu sebagai  anak kampung korban kerusuhan Ambon tahun 1999 mengungsi ke Ternate , internet memang barang yang langkah jangankan internet megang keybord komputer aja masih gemetaran apalagi Notebook/Laptop masih jauh bangat dari pikiran ..hahah saat itu yang paling dekat dan aman ya di Ternate dan di kota inilah aku mengenal pertama kali yang namanya internet itupun teori full prakteknya cuman 3x selama aku sekolah , maaf ya Pak yang udah memperkenalkan aku pada internet tapi memang benar kan ya hanya 3 x :) mungkin biar sesuai kali ya kalau SMA ataupun SMP hanya sampai kelas tiga ^_^.Thanks untuk teman-teman Smanza Ternate angkatan 2004 yang suda sama-sama mengalami groginya pertama kali pegang alat , makhluk ataupun apalah istilah yang kita sebut sekarang ini komputer dan jaringan internetnya.hahaha saking groginya ampe keringatan ancur dah sampai-sampai saudara aku dan teman-teman saling ngedorong kayak gini , kau aja yang duluan trus dijawab sama aku juga kau aja yang duluan  nah -loh ini kapan selesainya.Tapi begitulah awal mula aku mengenal internet XLangkah Lebih Maju yang memuat hidup dan takdirku kini bagaikan dalam mimpi.Alhamdulilah aku bersyukur diberi kesempatan mengenal internet yang XLangkah Lebih Maju, Allah mempertemukanku dengan suamiku  tercinta dalam jarak yang sangat jauh , antar benua , antar negara , berbeda waktu hampir 6 jam lamanya Polandia-Indonesia beda 6 jam bisa liat info lengkapnya di www.google.com :) tapi serasa dekat dihati internet membuat hati XLangkah Lebih Maju ( atau dalam istilah aku XLangkah Lebih Dekat Di Hati ^_^ haha sindrom orang yang lagi kasmaran ya kayak gini )

Aku , Internet , Dan , Jodohku Dari Benua Seberang  8-)

Kepindahanku ke Bandung untuk melanjutkan studi tepatnya di Universitas Pasundan Bandung Fakultas Ekonomi Jurusan Akuntansi ( wah lengkap bangat :) maklum aku sangat bangga dengan almamaterku karena di kampus inilah aku sering mondar-mandir lewat kantor XLangkah Lebih Maju :).maksudnya jalannya suka lebih maju alias duluan kalau mau ke BEC Bandung atau mau ke Gramedia :) karena aku bukan orang yang suka ke mall jadi aku gak akan sebutin BIP :) ( geningan disebutin oge heheh ).Aku orang yang biasa-biasa saja , tidak cantik apalagi punya prestasi besar tapi satu hal yang aku tahu aku harus tahu apa itu internet, secara anak kampung kayak aku internet tuh sudah jadi mimpi tiap hari :) saking semangatnya aku tiap hari mondar -mandir ( kesibukanku waktu itu selain kuliah ya mondar-mandir kayak gini ^_ ^ ) jadi aku mondar- mandir ke perpustakaan UNPAS Alhamdulilah waktu itu masih di Tamansari :) jadi aku tinggal jalan dikit langsung deh keliatan perpusnya nah sebenarnya aku sudah sering juga ketemu sama mahasiswa/mahasiswi Polandia yang lagi belajar di UNPAS , tapi benar-benar jauh saudara dari mimpiku atau angan-anganku .hahah bisa buat lagu neh. tak terbesit sedikitpun kalau aku akan berjodoh dengan seseorang laki-laki muslim asal Polandia :) Alhamdulillah ya Allah internet XLangkah Lebih Maju mempertemukan aku dan suamiku tercinta Abang sayang Abdullah Pisarzewski.

Kami memang tidak pernah bertemu di dunia nyata ( hahah maksudnya gak pernah ketemu secara langsung ) melalui internetlah kisah cinta kami dimulai .suit...suit prikitiw ^_^ neh klo ada teman-temanku yang baca blogku sudah pasti aku bakalan digodain kayak gini :) .Seperti yang sudah aku ceritakan sebelumnya aku tidak sengaja mengirimkan email untuk seseorang , sebenarnya email itu adalah program untuk anak-anak jalanan dan juga buat program kurban , saat itu aku memang menjadi tim untuk program seperti itu .Bismillah dengan berbekal bahasa inggris yang aku pikir lumayan ( hehehe over PD ^_^ maksudnya lumayan ancur ) aku mengumpulkan banyak email dari sebuah situs persaudaraan Islam antar bangsa , ini pula awal aku belajar nulis e-mail dengan baik ^_^ maklum selama ini belum pernah ada kesempatan menulis e-mail alias electronic mail :) .Internet memang membuat mimpi-mimpiku terwujud alias XLangkah Lebih Maju dari yang lain  bukan mimpi jodoh ama bule ya ^_^ tapi mimpi-mimpiku untuk bisa mendapatkan informasi, praktek bahasa inggrisku yang hancur-hancuran maklum sebagai mahasiswa yang sangat biasa saat itu :) aku benar-benar harus pintar berhitung yang berkenan dengan yang namanya uang atau budget lah maksudnya alasan klasiknya ya masalah ekonomi , maka aku putuskan untuk belajar bahasa inggris melalui internet dengan cara mengobrol dengan orang luar negeri , itung-itung nambah wawasan ^_^ . maka internet kampus yang gratis itu aku manfaatin semaksimal mungkin untuk belajar ^_^.Internet membuat aku XLangkah Lebih Maju untuk belajar ditengah keterbatasan yang ada.Never give up bro ^_^.Belajar jadi eh malah ketemu jodoh SubhanAllah .ckckckck :) Alhamdulillah ya sesuatu .hahaha ( gayanya Teh Syahrini ^_^ euy ).

Maka beginilah cerita kami dimulai.hohoho bisa jadi novel neh ^_^.Setelah aku mengirimkan email itu , aku tak terlalu berharap maklum nyadar diri ^_^ neh para Brothers ( sebutan untuk ikhwan luar negeri ) ngerti gak ya proposal aku yang udah keluar dari hukum grammar :) aku hanya memakai tata bahasa versi hatiku neh cocok gak... cocok gak cook :) .hahaha .SubhanAllah sekali ya ( asli dalam hati aku bilang kayak gini sebelum teh Syahrini mempopulerkan style ini ya ^_^ maaf ya teh Syahrini bukan maksud untuk menyinggung  ) ternyata ada beberapa yang merespon :) Alhamdulilah bahagia sekali hatiku internet XLangkah Lebih Maju membangun keyakinan diriku bahwa di dunia ini tidak ada hal yang tidak mungkin kita lakukan.Mereka lalu memintaku mengirim nomor rekeningku ( sumpah dalam hati ku percaya gak percaya ^_^ ) ini beneren apa nipu secara dunia internet juga gak aman-aman amat sama kayak dunia nyata so faktor kehati-hatian tetap dong aku kedepanin ^_^.SubhanAllah mereka mengirim bantuan ( bukan bantuan untuk bencana ya lebih tepatnya menyalurkan dananya :D ) sekalian menitipkan salam buat brothers and sisters in Indonesia ^_^.SubhanAllah internet XLangkah Lebih Maju membuat jarak yang jauh antar benua bisa dalam hitungan jam bahkan menit , maka besoknya akupun bergegas mengecek rekeningku dan Allahu Akbar....its amazing ...unbelieviable.Bahagia tak terkirah seumur hidupku belum pernah ada uang sebanyak itu dalam rekeningku, hal yang membuatku terharu adalah melalui internet XLangkah Lebih Maju Allah mempercayakanku untuk menyalurkan dana buat anak-anak jalanan dan anak-anak yatim sekaligus melaksanakan Qurban. Setelah program  , Alhmdulillah  aku langsung mengirim report dan juga hasil penyaluran dana.Sebulan berlalu tanpa disangka dan tak terbesit sedikitpun sebuah email masuk yang aku kenal sebagai salah satu diantara para donatur.Isi e-mailnya jelas dan bahasanya pasti , beliau saking hormatnya aku pada brother ini sampai aku sering menyebut kata " beliau " ( Alhamdulillah sekarang suamiku Abangku sayang :D rasa hormat dan sekarang rasa cinta dan sayang yang halal ini inshAllah aku jaga sampai akhir hayat .amin 3x :) bro and sis mentioned we both on your du'a please  ).Dalam e-mail yang beliau tulis dengan jelas beliau menanyakan statusku apakah masih single atau sedang bertunangan :) dasar aku masih pikiran polos saat itu sempat aku balas " sorry brother i am still student :).benar-benar lola .www.menertawakan-diri-sendiri.com ^_^.Sebenarnya maksudku adalah apakah benar brother mau nikah sama aku yang masih mahasiswa.SubhanAllah internet XLangkah Lebih Maju membuat jarak Polandia-Indonesia udah kayak Jakarta-Ambon.hahah :)

Internet seakan menjadi jembatan raksasa bagi seluruh umat manusia di muka bumi, menjembati antar benua, antar bangsa , antar ras bahkan sampai di negeri-negeri yang tidak pernah disinggahi manusia secara umum, maka beginilah kami XLangkah Lebih Maju menjadi keluarga antar bangsa karena jembatan raksasa ini .Kalau meminjam istilah iklan indomie di TV ^_^ inilah kisah kami tentang internet XLangkah Lebih Maju dan kamu bagaimana kisah kamu .heheheh



Bagi yang ingin berteman bisa add FB Abdullah Pisarzewski  untuk laki-laki dan Raidah Athirah untuk  perempuan :).Terimah kasih untuk membaca kisah kami.kisah kami adalah sedikit cerita tentang internet dan cinta dan keluarga antar bangsa :).Untuk sahabat yang juga mengalami hal yang sama ^_^ maksudnya berjodoh dengan bule silahkan bernostalgia